That Time I Met the Queen

1987. Saskatoon. 6 years old.

My tough-guy mother pushed my siblings and I through the crowd so we were at the front.

We brought flowers we picked from my grandparent’s garden. My little brother pulled the stem off his flower.

She already had an armful of beautiful bouquets when she got to us. I remember thinking that our little flowers were a bit measly compared to the ones she was carrying.

When my little brother handed her his flower she looked at it and said “Where is the stalk?”

At least that’s what was explained to me later. I’d never heard an accent in real life before, and had no idea what she was saying.

I also had no idea what a stalk was.

It’s called a STEM, Queen. 😉

Pictured: That’s me with the blue and pink jacket in the corner.


Where the Ground Won’t Shake

Our feature length film is now available to watch for free on Vimeo. “Where The Ground Won’t Shake” was created as a hybrid-fiction anthology revolving around the concept of safety in the Canadian Prairies. The film employs a number of different cinematic styles and covers a variety of themes, such as the lingering remnants of colonization/systematic abuse of First Nations people, modern evangelicalism, near death experiences, and the search for a sense of sanctuary in a harsh landscape.

Thanks to all our backers, supporters, and contributors for making this happen. We’re very proud of it.

10 to 12

I was chatting with some people online, and someone suggested that the 10 Commandments could be written more like the A.A. 12 Steps. Here’s what I came up with.

We honoured God as Creator and gave God a special place in our lives.
We showed reverence towards God, respecting the words and images that symbolize God to ourselves and others.
We remembered to worship God and to honour ourselves through rest and prayer.
We esteemed those who care for and about us, our chosen family.
We treated all life as sacred and deserving of dignity.
We respected our own bodies and the bodies of other people.
We were generous with our resources, taking care of those in need.
We told the truth about ourselves and others.
We honoured our beloveds and respected other peoples relationships.
We were grateful for what we have.

Books that Changed Me

Pippi Longstocking by Astrid Lindgren 

I’m not exaggerating when I say that I don’t know who I would be without Pippi. The brash, tough, aggressive little girl was my hero. She’s still my hero, tbh.

To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Pippi was transformative for kid Lindsay, and this one was transformative for teen Lindsay. Not just the narrative, which was so important for someone who grew up in a small town full of white people, but it also got me interested in “classic” books and movies. I printed a list of the “all-time best books and movies” off the newfangled internet, and I went to the library and signed things out from the list. I thought B&W movies and subtitles and old books were “lame” until I loved TKAM. It was the gateway book for me.

Of Woman Born by Adrienne Rich/History of the Wife by Marilyn Yalom
I read these two books when I got married, and when I was pregnant. It was so helpful for me to know the history and socio-political context of being a wife and mother in North America. These books helped me to thoughtfully reject the parts of these identities that don’t work for me, and find a healthy safe way to be a spouse and parent, Lindsay-style.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh
If you haven’t read Allie Brosh’s story of depression yet, you should do it right now. It’s all online. Here’s the links, no excuses:
I learned so much about my own struggles with depression by reading hers. And then, her dog stories made me laugh so hard I cried. There’s a lot of crying when I read her stuff. Lots and lots of crying.

House of Leaves by Mark Z Danielewski
A professor recommended this book to me when I was in university based on my interest in experimental narratives. If you flip through this book, you’ll notice that it’s not “like other books”. Words are all tossed all over the page- backwards, upside down, in strange little boxes, footnotes tell different stories than the rest of the page, you can’t tell which references are real and which are made up. But beyond the cool structure, it’s ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING. This book will convince you that you’ve gone insane. No other book has messed with my mind like this one. *cold shiver*

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Speaking of messing with my mind, I still have nightmares about this one. Regular nightmares. *shivers again*

Wolverine Omnibus (various authors/artists)
This collection of over 1000 pages of Wolverine comics got me through a really hard time in my life, and taught me a lot about the person I want to be in the midst of adversity. Wolverine is the toughest mama bear. He will do anything for the people he chooses to care about. I learned a lot about the concept of chosen family, being fiercely loyal, and fighting for what’s important.

The Truth about Stories by Thomas King
This is one of those books that everyone should read, really. Or listen to, since it was originally a lecture. Here’s the link:
It’s a masterfully weaved collection of narratives that taught me so much about Native cultures in North America. Each chapter begins and ends with similar words, but the stories and information contained within make the words ‘mean’ so differently each time. I have lived my life differently because I have heard his stories.

Foe by JM Coetzee
This book is a companion novel to Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe. I read Robinson Crusoe first and hated it with the passion of 1000 burning stars. Defoe created a world where the feminine is completely non-existent, not to mention the gross racist cultural imperialism. The fact that this novel was touted as the quintessential adventure novel for boys for generations is maddening. Coetzee reimagines the Crusoe narrative through a female character, and I sympathized with her character so much. I was removing myself from a stifling misogynist religious tradition at the time, and I felt her erasure and shared her pain. The way Coetzee implicates the reader in her suffering broke me, how we are all implicated in these cultural systems that erase people and ignore human pain.

Castle Waiting by Linda Medley
These comics are a feminist retelling of fairy tales. The drawings are cute and fun, and feature different stories originating from a castle inhabited by societal misfits. My favourite story is about the convent filled with bearded nuns. The stories are refreshing for people whose gender expression doesn’t mesh with the mainstream, and anyone else who has trouble ‘fitting in’. I want to live in the castle with them. They felt like ‘my people’.