Some Spam

Spam Poetry isn’t exactly the most profound of genres, but I keep finding what looks like poetry in my spam folder. Here’s two “found” “poems”, one of them them sexy and one of them list-y.

Certified Mail Message

To begin with, I am honest lassie in quest of love.
I am beautiful and tired of this feeling.
I search for my second half with whom I will be happy.
You always can text me.

I’m alone in a huge apartment…
My BF is far away and he doesn’t even contact me.
I am sure he is fucking someone(((
I don’t want to stay entire night in this large bed.
Come and make me feel better…

I bet you’re a great guy. Why don’t you meet with a girl like me?

Well-rounded woman is looking for a boyfriend!
It is not a problem if you have no biceps and dense beard.
I want a partner who can caress me in bed.
I promise, you will be impressed! Here are my nudes.

Are you occupied now? I don’t give a fuck!
Dude, come over here and poke me as roughly as you can!
If you are a gentleman, you will do it immediately.

All I want to tell you: you are my future boyfriend!
We are not acquainted but I see you permanently in my neighborhood.
You’re so sexy.
I am sure you are very hot in bed.
Come to my place and we can test it.

You can imagine how I am in front of you without clothes.
My body is so marvelous and its look makes you excited.
I kneel down and present you oral pleasure.
Follow me to turn it into reality.

Ohh, are you an ancient god? I could not resist and pass by!

I am sure you’re that kind of men who can make a girl happy.
Invite me on a date and we will see if it is true.
I am sure you are really hot for me in bed.

Answer me back and we can hang out.
I want to get a lot of kisses!
Lick all my body and do it tenderly.
All that I wish is love and sex.

My body shapes are amazing! Are you free {now}?

Yo, my future beau!
A pleasant lassie needs the assistance of a real man.
I stay alone in my house and have troubles with my Jacuzzi.
See pictures of it and, of course, some my nudes 😉

To begin with, I am heartfelt lassie in quest of amour.
I am beautiful and tired of this feeling.
I look for my other half with whom I will be safe.
You always can find me.

 

hi jan 30-feb4

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crystal1
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bologna
crystal1
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camila
crystal1
bologna
bimbo
bimbo
productions
crystal1
camila
productions
productions
dallas1
bimbo
camila
bimbo
camila
whiskers
bologna
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productions
camila
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camila
bimbo
bologna
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bimbo
productions
dallas1
camila
bimbo
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dallas1
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camila
bimbo
crystal1

overflowing garbage can in tall grass, from outside of the Banksy exhibit in Toronto 2018

Published by

Lindsay B-e

canadian writer-filmmaker-artist

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